Make Or Mar Your Relationship


As a child, when we first learned how lying works, we lacked the moral understanding of when to refrain from doing it. We will always lie; especially when we think by doing so we wouldn’t get punished for something. Almost everyone has lied at one point in time or another, and that includes you and me. As a matter of fact, some people lie at every point in time of their lives and don’t see it as anything. These are the people referred to as psychopathic liars. They have lied to the point that they can hardly remember the truth themselves. We all have our reasons for lying. But there is one common attribute attached to whatever reason we lie, which happens to be the brain behind lying.

Major Reason why many Lie

The obvious reason why we lie is FEAR. A guy would lie to his girlfriend because he fears she might leave him if the truth be told. Many lie to their boss at the office for fear of losing their job. Generally we lie when we have done something wrong and we lie are for fear of being persecuted.

We Lie To Manipulate

People are often moved to tell lies to make someone either do something or not do something. Some whenever they desperately desire something such as sex, money, status, power, love, etc. they resort to lying. People lie about how they feel especially with the use of the word ‘love’. This word is used often than any other word among young people when lying. A guy can say ‘I love you’ as many times possible to a girl (or vice versa), just to get the other person emotionally stirred up for easy manipulation. Lying just to manipulate someone’s action or decision is as a result of fear. We fear the person won’t accept to do what you want or give you what you desire. Many young people lie to themselves about what they feel because they are afraid of losing the other person.

We Lie To Get Noticed

There are those who use lies to paint false images just to create a favourable image of their personality and to fascinate people. The truths about the background of such people are covered with compulsive lies and they live exaggerated lives. In social media they portray a personality they are not. They make you expect too much from them and when you finally get to meet them for the first time or get to actually know who they really are outside the social world, you realize it’s all fake. Pride is usually what propels this kind of lie. But like the reason for manipulation, fear is the basis for such lies. The fear of rejection from friends, neighbourrs, colleagues, etc. prompts lying. Someone who is proud wants to be glorified. When a proud person knows no one will respect her or him or look in his or her direction, they lie about what they are not.

It Could Be Addictive

Many other reasons abound to why lies are told, but the certainty is that lying is addictive. Lying may seem simple and harmless at first, but just like any addiction, it traps and entangles more than envisaged. The problem with lying is that it becomes irresistible. When you get away with a lie it often drives you to continue your deceptions. When one lie is told, another is needed to cover it and then another to cover that and then another to cover the previous and in the process, these lies build up, one on top of the other, creating a slippery slope: Once we tell ourselves these lies are harmless, telling larger lies becomes easier.

Lie Could Hurt Relationships

As a matter of fact, sad to say, we have grouped lying. We have named that everyday habit as ‘little lies’. We often overlook what we call little lies. Our society tells so many white lies they hardly recognize themselves doing it at all. For example, this includes telling someone they are beautiful or handsome (when they are not), that they like someone’s hair, attire or foot wear, (when they truthfully do not), etc. If you resist the temptation to lie, you increase your capacity to build lasting relationships of trust. When it becomes a habit trying to cover a lie with another, we ruin relationships in the process, hurt others, lose our integrity, and lose our peace. Truth becomes a feared enemy of the liar. It’s a sick and tragic cycle that doesn’t ever have a happy ending. This is true in all our relationships whether it’s dating, family, friends, or at work. It is always best to be honest. It makes any and every relationship stronger and healthy. The power to make or mar your relationship lies in your tongue.

TELL THE TRUTH NOW: that includes me and you.

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