David (not his real name), tells his story about his decision-making life…
“Naturally, parents would always want to protect their children especially in an environment as dangerous as ours. The instincts would always tell them to interfere in anything that has to do with our lives to prevent regrets. Unfortunately, sometimes the decisions of the parents turn out to be misleading and wrong and if they had allowed the child decide for his/her self; the story would have been different.
My father is the reason I am in CRUTECH. At least I have some freedom, even if I didn’t choose to be here. At 22, I guess I won’t be wrong to conclude that I haven’t taken any decision on my own since I was born. As a matter of fact, my life sometimes looks obscured to me. I believe there are certain decisions nobody can or should make for you. Unfortunately Nigerian parents just like my father, won’t see you as an adult until you move out of their house.
My father would always put up a look of fire and brimstone whenever I try doing anything out of my own volition. The idea of letting me decide certain paths in my life remains strange to me. It started immediately after junior secondary when he ‘encouraged’ me to go to science class probably because I had shown one or two signs that pass for being smart. At first it started like harmless advice, but more often than not it was like a plan. A grand master plan that included my course of study, university of choice and I’m scared it could continue up to my choosing a life partner and a job if they he can find me one.”
Most Nigerian parents like my father seem not to be aware of the fact that we are shaped by the innovation and thoughts of a 21st century world. They still want their children to be either doctors, lawyers or engineers. They have made it a culture and adopted it beyond the mainstream of career choices. They try at all means to impose their beliefs on us once we get to the age where we can assimilate certain information.
Even as a male child, after my secondary education awaiting admission; I tried to engage myself in a menial job just to be able to get a little sum at the end of every month. But my father condemned the idea for the sole reason that I can’t be working when he is working for us his children. I understood his point of view no doubt; that it would seem to people as if he couldn’t cater for his children. But when I asked for money it had to be something he saw important in his eyes. Nevertheless what kind of man would I grow to become if he continues making decisions for me. I wish parents, especially my father would always bear in mind that the life is ours, and they should only guide us on how to live it and not live it for us”.
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